By Barb Bellesini

Many lives have been turned upside down in the past two years. Anxiety is being felt by many children and adults, so we need many different calming strategies, as the same one may not work every time. These are just a few I put together with no space or equipment needed for a friend.

Have you ever noticed that when you are emotional you say or do things that you normally wouldn’t? To learn or think clearly we need to stop the emotions, in a part of the brain called the Amygdala, from taking over, as it stops the thinking part, the Frontal Cortex, from letting us learn.

Set up a ‘Calming Corner’ or space where children can go, at home or school. You could have a basket with ‘special activities’ that your child, or class like e.g. books, puzzles, paper to write or draw, a squishy ball to squeeze, a toy to hug, cushions to lie on, etc. ask your child what they would like in there.

Going outside is also very calming if you can. Feeling blue? Touch green! Feel the sunshine, walk on the grass, look at the trees, flowers, clouds, climb a tree, jump on the trampoline, ride your bike, play with a ball, etc.

ALL feelings are OK, it’s how you act or control them that matters. talk about feelings often.

WHAT WILL YOU DO TO CALM DOWN?

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By Barb Bellesini

The pandemic, and bushfires in Australia, have left everyone effected in some way. Loss of:- Privileges, jobs, homes, family contact, travel, sport, gyms, medical support, weddings, lives, funerals, celebrations, visitors, even toilet paper!! There is also loneliness, isolation, depression and uncertainty. It will effect some now, others in a few months or even years.

No one can learn or think clearly when they are anxious. The Amygdala, the part of the brain that controls emotions, takes over. It feels THREAT, and is trying to keep us safe, but the brain can’t tell if it is REAL or PERCEIVED threat. It sends out the Fight or Flight message. The ANXIOUS brain needs to be CALMED and feel SAFE before being able to make a good decisions.

Watch this three minute video for one approach to anxiety. NIP= Notice Inquire Plan

Revisit the post below to remind yourself of things to do to calm yourself, students, family, friends.

Some good books on Anxiety: Hey Warrior – Karen Young; Hey Awesome – Karen Young; When I’m Feeling NERVOUS – Trace Moroney; My Calm Me Down Book – Trace Moroney; When I’m Feeling Sad – Trace Moroney; The Huge Bag of Worries– Virginia Ironside; Anxiety Sucks- Teen Survival Guide– Natasha Daniels

The post Getting on top of Anxiety appeared first on Be Positive Program.

By Barb Bellesini

How can we make wearing masks ‘Normal?’ It is a reality now that COVID-19 is with us. In Melbourne and all over the world, we have been advised to wear masks. How do we make this OK with children? Some can be frightened by them. One great way is to put a mask on a toy at home and in the classroom. I remember having an eye operation when I had a two year old, and he came to the hospital with a teddy wearing an eye patch. If it was OK for teddy it was OK for him to see me with one.

Make sure you have circle time discussions, so each child can have a voice and express what they know and how they feel about the whole situation. Good luck. Stay safe and sane.

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How are you feeling about going back to school?

This experience will have been different for every student, teacher and parent. Some will be happy, others traumatised and everything in between. We can’t assume how anyone feels. How do we deal with all of this?

Phychologist Dr Helen Street, chair of Positive Schools, suggests we ask 4 questions similar to these. Make sure EVERY person has a chance to answer each one in their own way- speaking, drawing, one to one or in the group. They must feel they belong and have an equal voice : 1. What felt different for you learning at home? 2. What did you enjoy? 3. What did you miss? 4. What would you like to do differently back at school?

It’s very healthy to TALK about and experience your FEELINGS. Use Circle Time, so everyone has a chance to speak. ALL feelings are good, it’s what we do with them that can make a difference. If we let them CONTROL us, that’s where we can be in trouble! YOU need to CONTROL your feelings so you don’t hurt either yourself or others, and so you can feel happier. We need to all build strategies to control our feelings. (See some helpful posters below)

Controlling your feelings by SELF SOOTHING

What helps YOU clam down? Everyone is different. Modeling Self Soothing gives the best example that it works, do some together: e.g. Deep breathing, drinking water, reading, walking, running, playing outside, painting, cooking, eating (not too much!!), listening to music, singing, dancing, playing sport, watching a movie, mediation, mindfulness, games, jokes, laughing, lying down, resting, sunshine, swimming, a bath, the gym, exercises, yoga, writing, drawing, puzzles, jigsaws, climbing, sitting under or in a tree, the park, a playground, talking to a friend or helper, pets, animals, fishing, lego, IT, robotics, etc.

Mindfulness or Meditation

Always helps to ground and centre us, and has much research to show it works. There are many resources such as Smiling Mind, that can be used.

Routine

PREDICTION = SAFETY Have a schedule up each day so there are no surprises, and if the schedule changes, let the students know in advance if possible. After all the disruptions, routine is comfort.

Gratitude

There are ALWAYS things to be grateful for. Focusing on the things that go right can help to increase mood. Do this in a written, spoken, in your mind or pictorial way. Try and do it every day until the next holidays to get them into the habit. Have a gratitude board in the staff room, tell students to ask their parents what they are grateful for.

Discover Strengths

Use strength cards and discussions, or questionnaires, to discover each others strengths – both physical and emotional. Talk about how you could use your strengths to help others. Make Strength posters, display them. We ALL have strengths we can share to make the world a better place.

Exercise every day

Get the students and yourself moving, both in the classroom, or work area and outside. Dance, sing, do brain gym, PE, a ‘Play is the Way’ game, Simon says, etc. have frequent breaks if students are not settled.

Relationship and Empathy

Get to know your students all over again, things will have changed. Some will have improved, some will have regressed – in either learning and /or behaviour. Relationship is VERY important, every person wants to belong, this goes for staff as well. Empathy is relationship building.

Posters that may help:

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By Barb Bellesini

Anxiety and fear is all around us as we face this Pandemic of Carona Virus. We DO have a choice about how it effects our state of mind and our health. And there are strategies that CAN help.

Research from 2009 swine Flu showed fear of the disease was significantly related to parents’ fear. Journal of Anxiety Disorders Vol 25, Issue 3 p 444-449

Just doing a few simple things can help to calm your whole body. Below is a diagram of many of the ‘signs’ your body gives you if you are under stress, scared, anxious or over emotional. Recognise them and find ways to ‘self soothe’ to calm yourself. Read, walk, run, listen to music, listen to a Mindfulness session, lie down, cook, think of happy things in your life, plan ahead …

Deep Breathing is the first thing I always suggest as research shows it it calms your system. Try having a Panic Attack when you are deep breathing – they say it is impossible!!

Teach a number of methods – Practise SLOW and STEADY breathing using Bubbles blowers; a pinwheel; water and straw; Breathe in for a count of 3, hold for 3 and breathe out for 3; Breath normally but count breaths backwards from 100 (20 or 10) count each breath ; All of these make you concentrate on your breathe NOT your problem!!

Last suggestion for this post is to do as many ACTS OF KINDNESS as you can! Look around, brain storm ideas that you can do in your school or neighbourhood to help others. This makes BOTH yourself and the other person feel happier.

What are you and your family going to do to help yourselves and each other??

The post ANXIETY and how to manage it appeared first on Be Positive Program.

By Barb Bellesini

Even though children or adults may not show outward signs of worry or anxiety, almost ALL will be effected in some way. They may have been in the fires, lost their home, been worried about the smoke everywhere, seen pictures on TV, heard adults talk about it, had their holiday changed or stopped, donated to the fire charities, been at sporting matches were they were raising money or had someone effected by the Coronavirus – all of these things can play on their minds. Until you ask the question, you don’t know what they are thinking. Try the following strategies:

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Routine at any time helps you feel safer and less anxious. You know what is coming. Go over safety plans, but NOT an unscheduled one, as is often the case for ‘practice.’ Put up your schedule every day, and try and stick to it.

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Watch, observe and listen. Are there mood changes? Unusual outbreaks? Lack of interest? Drop in motivation? Do they react to noises, sudden movement or sounds, smells or colours? Use a ‘Mood Map’ or ‘Catastrophe Scale’ to help them monitor their own moods and readiness for learning.

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Get to know each child. Learn their likes, hobbies and show an interest in them. Rapport and respect are essential.

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Use Circle time to give children an opportunity to state how they feel, using ‘silent statements’ may be a good way to start. Allow each child to talk, write and draw about things they did over the holidays, some will mention the fires, smoke or virus, others may not want to talk about it. Never force them to speak, always give them the option to ‘pass,’ but keep a close eye on their behaviour. Let them talk and walk with a friend or support person if they need to.

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Use deep breathing, mindfulness, gratitude, self soothing, counting to ten, music, physical exercise, colouring, reading, massage, walking and talking etc. Teach them as many different ways to calm as you can, as some will work on one day and may not work the next! They will know what works best for them. Gratitude is a wonderful way to show them they have good things in their lives. It can change their mood and attitude. Setting Goals can also help them to focus.

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Get them to draw a hand and write an adult they can trust to talk to and tell them any worries on each finger. If they are older, write friends or extras on the palm. Everyone needs someone to let out worries to. Different people may be for different worries. Some may need to be referred to a Doctor, Psychologist or Psychiatrist. Let them know that is OK.

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Watch and listen for negative self talk, encourage and teach positive self talk. This will lead to a Growth Mindset.

Other resources: Blog from Berry Street with more ideas on how to cope in the classroom. https://blog.goodchildhood.org.au/2020/01/22/supporting-our-communities/?utm_source=Berry+Street+Childhood+Institute&utm_campaign=d08356712e-BSEM-supporting-communities-2020&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_e9cacd28b5-d08356712e-429994321

Beyond Blue: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/bushfires-and-mental-health/ https://www.beyondblue.org.au/

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By Barb Bellesini 

‘I am living in a nightmare everyday, and nobody understands. I just can’t cope anymore.’

This statement shocked me into action, but not without asking first! I had listened and physically helped before, but this was different. They were trying to solve the problems themselves, which is always better, but being misunderstood for 5 months had dulled any sense of resilience, will power, or resolve that anyone could or would understand. I thought the ‘lowest’ had already been and gone, but it was back again with a bigger wall. After 3 days of researching, phoning, blogging and then FINALLY contacting a VERY compassionate, understanding person, who just wanted to go and hug the person, we are slowly but surely, on the way to resolving some of the problems. I was lucky I found the right contact, but that DOESN’T always happen, and people are left floundering.

Today is a day we should ask every family member, friend, student and workmate RUOK, ARE YOU REALLY OK? So many people can present themselves to others as coping, happy, telling jokes, doing their job well, helping others, but on the INSIDE they are broken, sad, worried and need help themselves. You never know what they came from this morning, last night, last week, last year, or even a trauma from many years ago.

(I got this image from FB, so I cannot site the original source.)

LOOK FOR THE SIGNS on the outside

Sighing, withdrawing, fidgety, can’t sit still, tired or hypo, headaches, numbness, too busy or uninterested, never having ‘me’ time, bored, losing temper, feeling sick, overwhelmed, needing to go the the toilet a lot, frowning, shaky voice, rolling eyes, never having an opinion, ‘whatever’ or over complaining, not caring about eating, their clothes, not getting out, tears etc. The list can be endless. 

Then there are things we can’t see- the butterflies in the tummy, the pounding heart,  sweating, feeling overwhelmed, not wanting to go places or join in, tight jaw, shoulders, neck, lump in your throat, can’t talk properly, goose bumps, dry mouth, sweaty, feeling dizzy, hunger pains, can’t sleep, getting shivers or shaking knees…..

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Listen, ACKNOWLEDGE their fears and feelings, take them for a walk, offer water, deep breathing, find something good about the day so far, sit with them, hug them, play their favourite music, find them a book, play sport with them, do mindfulness, draw, cook, eat, take them away from a situation that isn’t good, sit on the grass, sand, beach, in the park, ask if you can help, help them work out what to do if practical……

DON’T say ‘Don’t worry about it’ 

ACTS OF KINDNESS MAKE US ALL BETTER PEOPLE

Be gentle with the people you meet and deal with everyday, look on the INSIDE not the OUTSIDE.

HAVE A GREAT DAY                by Barb Bellesini

Body Signs

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