By Barb Bellesini

Many lives have been turned upside down in the past two years. Anxiety is being felt by many children and adults, so we need many different calming strategies, as the same one may not work every time. These are just a few I put together with no space or equipment needed for a friend.

Have you ever noticed that when you are emotional you say or do things that you normally wouldn’t? To learn or think clearly we need to stop the emotions, in a part of the brain called the Amygdala, from taking over, as it stops the thinking part, the Frontal Cortex, from letting us learn.

Set up a ‘Calming Corner’ or space where children can go, at home or school. You could have a basket with ‘special activities’ that your child, or class like e.g. books, puzzles, paper to write or draw, a squishy ball to squeeze, a toy to hug, cushions to lie on, etc. ask your child what they would like in there.

Going outside is also very calming if you can. Feeling blue? Touch green! Feel the sunshine, walk on the grass, look at the trees, flowers, clouds, climb a tree, jump on the trampoline, ride your bike, play with a ball, etc.

ALL feelings are OK, it’s how you act or control them that matters. talk about feelings often.

WHAT WILL YOU DO TO CALM DOWN?

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By Barb Bellesini

How can we make wearing masks ‘Normal?’ It is a reality now that COVID-19 is with us. In Melbourne and all over the world, we have been advised to wear masks. How do we make this OK with children? Some can be frightened by them. One great way is to put a mask on a toy at home and in the classroom. I remember having an eye operation when I had a two year old, and he came to the hospital with a teddy wearing an eye patch. If it was OK for teddy it was OK for him to see me with one.

Make sure you have circle time discussions, so each child can have a voice and express what they know and how they feel about the whole situation. Good luck. Stay safe and sane.

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By Barb Bellesini

Even though children or adults may not show outward signs of worry or anxiety, almost ALL will be effected in some way. They may have been in the fires, lost their home, been worried about the smoke everywhere, seen pictures on TV, heard adults talk about it, had their holiday changed or stopped, donated to the fire charities, been at sporting matches were they were raising money or had someone effected by the Coronavirus – all of these things can play on their minds. Until you ask the question, you don’t know what they are thinking. Try the following strategies:

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Routine at any time helps you feel safer and less anxious. You know what is coming. Go over safety plans, but NOT an unscheduled one, as is often the case for ‘practice.’ Put up your schedule every day, and try and stick to it.

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Watch, observe and listen. Are there mood changes? Unusual outbreaks? Lack of interest? Drop in motivation? Do they react to noises, sudden movement or sounds, smells or colours? Use a ‘Mood Map’ or ‘Catastrophe Scale’ to help them monitor their own moods and readiness for learning.

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Get to know each child. Learn their likes, hobbies and show an interest in them. Rapport and respect are essential.

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Use Circle time to give children an opportunity to state how they feel, using ‘silent statements’ may be a good way to start. Allow each child to talk, write and draw about things they did over the holidays, some will mention the fires, smoke or virus, others may not want to talk about it. Never force them to speak, always give them the option to ‘pass,’ but keep a close eye on their behaviour. Let them talk and walk with a friend or support person if they need to.

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Use deep breathing, mindfulness, gratitude, self soothing, counting to ten, music, physical exercise, colouring, reading, massage, walking and talking etc. Teach them as many different ways to calm as you can, as some will work on one day and may not work the next! They will know what works best for them. Gratitude is a wonderful way to show them they have good things in their lives. It can change their mood and attitude. Setting Goals can also help them to focus.

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Get them to draw a hand and write an adult they can trust to talk to and tell them any worries on each finger. If they are older, write friends or extras on the palm. Everyone needs someone to let out worries to. Different people may be for different worries. Some may need to be referred to a Doctor, Psychologist or Psychiatrist. Let them know that is OK.

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Watch and listen for negative self talk, encourage and teach positive self talk. This will lead to a Growth Mindset.

Other resources: Blog from Berry Street with more ideas on how to cope in the classroom. https://blog.goodchildhood.org.au/2020/01/22/supporting-our-communities/?utm_source=Berry+Street+Childhood+Institute&utm_campaign=d08356712e-BSEM-supporting-communities-2020&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_e9cacd28b5-d08356712e-429994321

Beyond Blue: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/bushfires-and-mental-health/ https://www.beyondblue.org.au/

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  Problem Solving Toolboxes 

                                       by Barb Bellesini

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This powerful anti-bullying video was put together by students who had been bullied. I suggest it is good for students from 11-19.

Their message is ‘Stand up. Stand together. Don’t be a bystander.’

The sound track is ‘Fix It’ by Coldplay.

Never be a Bystander, you can always help in some way. Just saying ‘Stop!’ can make a difference. Help if you can, but don’t put yourself in danger. Get someone else to help if you can’t, report it to teachers, adults or police if needed.

See the Post below for some other ways to help Dis-empower Bullies.

Ways to ‘Dis-empower’ a Bully

ePoster Don’t be a Bystander

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What is something YOU do to make yourself feel better??

Self Talk can either harm or help you! If your Self Talk is Negative and Unhelpful- a FIXED MINDSET, then it can be harmful and stop you from progressing or changing, whereas Helpful Positive Self Talk is working with a GROWTH MINDSET, where you allow yourself to build, develop and grow into a more resilient, happy person. Your INNER belief effects what you can and can’t do. To CHANGE some of those Negative Fixed Mindset ideas try asking yourself questions like: ‘Is that really true? What is another way to think of that? Can I have a go? What strategies can I use?Am I exaggerating? How can I solve this?’ They will lead to a GROWTH MINDSET, more learning and a better outcomes.

Following are some ‘Growth Mindset Self Talk,’ suggested by the students, to help manage our emotions:

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We all talk to ourselves in our head all day, but often will catch ourselves saying negative things. Try some of the following Self Talk to help you stay on an even keel:

I am a good person

I am going to have a great day

It won’t last forever

I’ll feel better tomorrow

I have some great friends

My family love me

I can ask for help

I can keep trying

Don’t give up

Tomorrow will be a great day

Get over yourself!!

I’ll take some deep breaths and I’ll feel better

I can do it

Everything will be OK soon

I have the courage to have a go

I can walk away

I can go and do something I like

I’ll have a drink of water

What strategy can I use to help?

Is there another way to look at this?

What are some things YOU say to yourself to make you feel better?? Change those NEGATIVE thought patterns (Fixed Mindset) into POSITIVE (Growth Mindset) ones! You will feel much better if you do!

Remember: If you THINK you CAN, you CAN. If you THINK you CAN’T, then you CAN’T!!

See Products page for this and other posters to help you, your students or patients.

ePoster Self Talk Changes your MIND and ACTIONS

Self Talk Traffic Lights

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What IS Self Talk?

Get a pen and paper and write down the first thing that comes to mind when you read these words:

1. Dog
2. Cat
3. Breakfast
4. school
5. homework
6. fly

If you did this with a class of 24 students, you would get an average of 10- 25 answers for each of the words! We ALL think differently and can NEVER assume what some else is THINKING or FEELING!!

BUT if you are AWARE of your OWN Self Talk, it can help you change your mood and outlook on many situations. If you THINK you CAN you CAN, if you THINK you CAN’T then you CAN’T! Simple as that!!

Do some work with yourself and your students on ‘catching’ what you are actually saying to yourself, if you find yourself thinking RED Unhelpful Thoughts /Fixed Mindset, try to change them to a more positive thought, a GREEN Helpful Thought /Growth Mindset.

You could be sabotaging your own happiness by keeping on thinking RED Unhelpful Thoughts, when you could be happier by just thinking about the situation in a different way!

This is a poster I use in classrooms to remind students to catch their RED thoughts or Fixed Mindset and change them to GREEN thoughts or Growth Mindset.

Self Talk Traffic Lights

ePoster Self Talk Changes your MIND and ACTIONS

ePoster Set

Do YOU have FIXED or GROWTH MINDSET??

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Feelings and emotions

by Barb Bellesini

The post Feelings and Emotions appeared first on Be Positive Program.

Transition can be complex. Last year there were orientation days, ordering books and uniforms, planning, setting classes, pictures taken etc. Teachers will have made resources, planned, set up the room and displays, but most importantly they will have become aware of all the students in their class, average, smart, special needs- at both ends of the spectrum and will have learnt a little about each child.

Now shoes can be bought, maybe a count down is on, or calendar, getting into bedtime routine after holidays. Talk about any fears or feelings, being careful not to put YOUR anxieties onto your child. Have a  classmate to play, (new or old), have uniforms and bag ready and named- nothing more frustrating than loosing new jumpers, jackets, lunch boxes, hats, etc so NAME everything that they may take off or misplace, even initial inside their shoes, name any books, pencils lunch bags etc. Listen to their dreams– what are they looking forward to, things that they may be apprehensive about,  answering questions as best as possible, reading books about going to school, especially if it is their first year.

If beginning Secondary School, make sure they know how they will be getting to and from school, with routes and bus / train / riding / walking times worked out. Some students benefit from colour coding their books for each subject so they are easier to find.

Check that they haven’t out grown their uniforms and shoes NOW if not just starting out- kids grow during the holidays!!! You may have to take pants, dresses down, or buy new ones!

Talk about ‘self soothing’– things to do to calm down if they are overwhelmed or over excited. Deep breathing, counting, finding a quiet place, drinking water, reading, fidget toys, stress ball, drawing, walking etc. Practise them at home as well. Special needs students may need to work out a place to go and a visual clue with their teacher. Be aware of the signs your body gives you – heart beat, sweating, dry throat, tears etc so you know you need to calm down.

Parents– don’t hang around too long with beginners, even if they are upset, they usually calm very quickly after you have left. The longer you stay the harder it is for all. I have heard one child ask, ‘Has she gone yet?’ and stopped crying immediately!! Sometimes they think it’s what YOU want!! Others have FOMO- fear of missing out- they are imagining everything you are doing at home with other siblings or at work- reassure them they will have time after school- maybe a story, or a cuddle might do the trick!

Good luck to all teachers, students and parents on the exciting year ahead. You can do it! 

Self Talk Changes your MIND and your ACTIONS

The post Transition for all appeared first on Be Positive Program.

glittertextmaker.inf                                                by Barb Bellesini

ALL FEELINGS are OK, as long as WHAT we DO with them doesn’t HURT or HARM anybody else or get us into trouble.

All levels have been talking about feelings and these are some of their responses:

Your body will give you signs if you are getting upset, angry, annoyed, anxious or even over excited eg. headaches, shaking, a sore throat, can’t sleep, blushing, sweating, 100% overheated, frowning, butterflies in tummy, pounding heart, shaky voice, dry mouth, feel sick, need to go to the toilet, feel hungry etc.

……and you FEEL like you want to: explode like a volcano, run around, punch something, be silly and noisy, be a bad person, boss someone, squeeze something, sleep, kick something, run away, break something, push, swear, jump, have my own time and space, scream, tell someone, punching something, rip something….

You will need to STOP and THINK

Will my actions hurt anyone? Will they calm me down or make it worse? What SHOULD I do?

Calming yourself down is the best way to go BEFORE doing anything that may cause harm. Take deep breathes, count to ten, tell the person, ‘Stop, I don’t like it.’, walk away, talk to someone in your support team, meditate, go outside, go to somewhere quiet, to your peaceful place, do something active, hit a punching bag or your pillow, jump on the trampoline, read, lie down, listen to music …… THEN your mind will be clearer to make GOOD decisions about what you should do.

How will other people behave towards you if you are not the BOSS of your FEELINGS?

….annoyed, scared of you, angry, tease you, not want to be your friend, ignore you, not respect you, upset with you, frustrated, they will think you are not worthy, unfriendly, they will boss you around, irritated, agitated, follow you, call you names, won’t trust you …

How will YOU feel about yourself?

(alone, unhappy, sad, mad, depressed, stressed, tired, bad,  stupid, bored, frustrated, angry, moody, weird, hate yourself, not responsible, …)

So… WHO is in CONTROL?

YOU or your FEELINGS??

ePoster Control Your Feelings

Breathe Act Think

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