By Barb Bellesini 

‘I am living in a nightmare everyday, and nobody understands. I just can’t cope anymore.’

This statement shocked me into action, but not without asking first! I had listened and physically helped before, but this was different. They were trying to solve the problems themselves, which is always better, but being misunderstood for 5 months had dulled any sense of resilience, will power, or resolve that anyone could or would understand. I thought the ‘lowest’ had already been and gone, but it was back again with a bigger wall. After 3 days of researching, phoning, blogging and then FINALLY contacting a VERY compassionate, understanding person, who just wanted to go and hug the person, we are slowly but surely, on the way to resolving some of the problems. I was lucky I found the right contact, but that DOESN’T always happen, and people are left floundering.

Today is a day we should ask every family member, friend, student and workmate RUOK, ARE YOU REALLY OK? So many people can present themselves to others as coping, happy, telling jokes, doing their job well, helping others, but on the INSIDE they are broken, sad, worried and need help themselves. You never know what they came from this morning, last night, last week, last year, or even a trauma from many years ago.

(I got this image from FB, so I cannot site the original source.)

LOOK FOR THE SIGNS on the outside

Sighing, withdrawing, fidgety, can’t sit still, tired or hypo, headaches, numbness, too busy or uninterested, never having ‘me’ time, bored, losing temper, feeling sick, overwhelmed, needing to go the the toilet a lot, frowning, shaky voice, rolling eyes, never having an opinion, ‘whatever’ or over complaining, not caring about eating, their clothes, not getting out, tears etc. The list can be endless. 

Then there are things we can’t see- the butterflies in the tummy, the pounding heart,  sweating, feeling overwhelmed, not wanting to go places or join in, tight jaw, shoulders, neck, lump in your throat, can’t talk properly, goose bumps, dry mouth, sweaty, feeling dizzy, hunger pains, can’t sleep, getting shivers or shaking knees…..

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Listen, ACKNOWLEDGE their fears and feelings, take them for a walk, offer water, deep breathing, find something good about the day so far, sit with them, hug them, play their favourite music, find them a book, play sport with them, do mindfulness, draw, cook, eat, take them away from a situation that isn’t good, sit on the grass, sand, beach, in the park, ask if you can help, help them work out what to do if practical……

DON’T say ‘Don’t worry about it’ 

ACTS OF KINDNESS MAKE US ALL BETTER PEOPLE

Be gentle with the people you meet and deal with everyday, look on the INSIDE not the OUTSIDE.

HAVE A GREAT DAY                by Barb Bellesini

Body Signs

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