By Barb Bellesini

Many lives have been turned upside down in the past two years. Anxiety is being felt by many children and adults, so we need many different calming strategies, as the same one may not work every time. These are just a few I put together with no space or equipment needed for a friend.

Have you ever noticed that when you are emotional you say or do things that you normally wouldn’t? To learn or think clearly we need to stop the emotions, in a part of the brain called the Amygdala, from taking over, as it stops the thinking part, the Frontal Cortex, from letting us learn.

Set up a ‘Calming Corner’ or space where children can go, at home or school. You could have a basket with ‘special activities’ that your child, or class like e.g. books, puzzles, paper to write or draw, a squishy ball to squeeze, a toy to hug, cushions to lie on, etc. ask your child what they would like in there.

Going outside is also very calming if you can. Feeling blue? Touch green! Feel the sunshine, walk on the grass, look at the trees, flowers, clouds, climb a tree, jump on the trampoline, ride your bike, play with a ball, etc.

ALL feelings are OK, it’s how you act or control them that matters. talk about feelings often.

WHAT WILL YOU DO TO CALM DOWN?

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By Barb Bellesini

Even though children or adults may not show outward signs of worry or anxiety, almost ALL will be effected in some way. They may have been in the fires, lost their home, been worried about the smoke everywhere, seen pictures on TV, heard adults talk about it, had their holiday changed or stopped, donated to the fire charities, been at sporting matches were they were raising money or had someone effected by the Coronavirus – all of these things can play on their minds. Until you ask the question, you don’t know what they are thinking. Try the following strategies:

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Routine at any time helps you feel safer and less anxious. You know what is coming. Go over safety plans, but NOT an unscheduled one, as is often the case for ‘practice.’ Put up your schedule every day, and try and stick to it.

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Watch, observe and listen. Are there mood changes? Unusual outbreaks? Lack of interest? Drop in motivation? Do they react to noises, sudden movement or sounds, smells or colours? Use a ‘Mood Map’ or ‘Catastrophe Scale’ to help them monitor their own moods and readiness for learning.

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Get to know each child. Learn their likes, hobbies and show an interest in them. Rapport and respect are essential.

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Use Circle time to give children an opportunity to state how they feel, using ‘silent statements’ may be a good way to start. Allow each child to talk, write and draw about things they did over the holidays, some will mention the fires, smoke or virus, others may not want to talk about it. Never force them to speak, always give them the option to ‘pass,’ but keep a close eye on their behaviour. Let them talk and walk with a friend or support person if they need to.

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Use deep breathing, mindfulness, gratitude, self soothing, counting to ten, music, physical exercise, colouring, reading, massage, walking and talking etc. Teach them as many different ways to calm as you can, as some will work on one day and may not work the next! They will know what works best for them. Gratitude is a wonderful way to show them they have good things in their lives. It can change their mood and attitude. Setting Goals can also help them to focus.

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Get them to draw a hand and write an adult they can trust to talk to and tell them any worries on each finger. If they are older, write friends or extras on the palm. Everyone needs someone to let out worries to. Different people may be for different worries. Some may need to be referred to a Doctor, Psychologist or Psychiatrist. Let them know that is OK.

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Watch and listen for negative self talk, encourage and teach positive self talk. This will lead to a Growth Mindset.

Other resources: Blog from Berry Street with more ideas on how to cope in the classroom. https://blog.goodchildhood.org.au/2020/01/22/supporting-our-communities/?utm_source=Berry+Street+Childhood+Institute&utm_campaign=d08356712e-BSEM-supporting-communities-2020&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_e9cacd28b5-d08356712e-429994321

Beyond Blue: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/bushfires-and-mental-health/ https://www.beyondblue.org.au/

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Transition can be complex. Last year there were orientation days, ordering books and uniforms, planning, setting classes, pictures taken etc. Teachers will have made resources, planned, set up the room and displays, but most importantly they will have become aware of all the students in their class, average, smart, special needs- at both ends of the spectrum and will have learnt a little about each child.

Now shoes can be bought, maybe a count down is on, or calendar, getting into bedtime routine after holidays. Talk about any fears or feelings, being careful not to put YOUR anxieties onto your child. Have a  classmate to play, (new or old), have uniforms and bag ready and named- nothing more frustrating than loosing new jumpers, jackets, lunch boxes, hats, etc so NAME everything that they may take off or misplace, even initial inside their shoes, name any books, pencils lunch bags etc. Listen to their dreams– what are they looking forward to, things that they may be apprehensive about,  answering questions as best as possible, reading books about going to school, especially if it is their first year.

If beginning Secondary School, make sure they know how they will be getting to and from school, with routes and bus / train / riding / walking times worked out. Some students benefit from colour coding their books for each subject so they are easier to find.

Check that they haven’t out grown their uniforms and shoes NOW if not just starting out- kids grow during the holidays!!! You may have to take pants, dresses down, or buy new ones!

Talk about ‘self soothing’– things to do to calm down if they are overwhelmed or over excited. Deep breathing, counting, finding a quiet place, drinking water, reading, fidget toys, stress ball, drawing, walking etc. Practise them at home as well. Special needs students may need to work out a place to go and a visual clue with their teacher. Be aware of the signs your body gives you – heart beat, sweating, dry throat, tears etc so you know you need to calm down.

Parents– don’t hang around too long with beginners, even if they are upset, they usually calm very quickly after you have left. The longer you stay the harder it is for all. I have heard one child ask, ‘Has she gone yet?’ and stopped crying immediately!! Sometimes they think it’s what YOU want!! Others have FOMO- fear of missing out- they are imagining everything you are doing at home with other siblings or at work- reassure them they will have time after school- maybe a story, or a cuddle might do the trick!

Good luck to all teachers, students and parents on the exciting year ahead. You can do it! 

Self Talk Changes your MIND and your ACTIONS

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